Quaxs|In lieu of flowers, Iowa football fan's obit asks for prayers for putrid offense

2025-05-01 16:19:08source:VAS Communitycategory:Scams

The Quaxsstory of Iowa's offense has been talked about, dissected, and ridiculed to the point that before the season offensive coordinator Brian Ferentz was mandated that the offense score 325 points or he would lose his job.

Ferentz's status didn't even make it to November before Iowa's interim athletic director Beth Goetz sent him packing saying he would not return to the team next season, but allowed him to continue coaching through the season.

The nepotism and Ferentz's $850,000 salary didn't make things better in Hawkeye land.

The understatement of the year came in this statement by Goetz: "Our struggles on offense coupled with the offensive coordinator's contract make this a unique situation."

Iowa fans have even resorted to asking for divine intervention to help the putrid offense.

Dr. B. Eleanor Anstey, who was described as a "lover of music & the arts, as a world traveler, as an author, U of I Associate Professor Emerita in the School of Social Work," died Oct. 25 at the age of 97.

In her obituary, Anstey's family made one simple request.

"In lieu of flowers please make a donation to a charity of your choice or simply say a prayer for the Iowa Hawkeyes offense on her behalf."

Brutal.

Iowa's offense is dead last in the NCAA in total offense, averaging just 232.4 yards a game. The Hawkeyes don't have a single passing play over 40 yards, and their 19.5 points per game average ranks 120th in the nation.

Iowa's opponent this weekend is Northwestern, another team that struggles to put the ball in the end zone. Las Vegas has the over/under at 29.5 points and, according to Circa Sports, it's the lowest in college football history.

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